Facebook Status: The longer the title, the less important the job.

Facebook Status: I am too young to be this old!

Facebook Status: Thanks to new alcoholic energy drinks, instead of the walk of shame, you can do the sprint of shame.

Facebook Status: Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Facebook Status: I’m never sure what to do with my eyes when I’m at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling?

Facebook Status: Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.