Facebook Status: Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Facebook Status: I’m only liking your status to let you know that I read it so you won’t try to tell me about it later.

Facebook Status: What’s one thing you can do today to make someone else laugh? Did you do it yet? How about now?

Facebook Status: The dream is free but the hustle is sold separately.

Facebook Status: By a show of LIKES, how many of you have you exceeded the speed limit this week?

Facebook Status: A good friend will call your parents by their first names. A best friend will call your parents ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad.’